Hearing the heartbeat.

This past Thursday, as I was getting home from work and checking the mail in our lobby, I found an unexpected packet from our home study agency. Initially I had no idea what it could be. I figured maybe it was just general information from the agency on spring events, adoption classes, parenting literature, etc.

It had been a long week and I was tired from four days of teaching. I sank onto our futon and opened the envelope, immediately fingering several stapled sheets of paper as I read on agency letterhead these words: I am pleased to inform you that based upon our overall impressions, interviews, and references, your home study has been approved.

(Insert HUGE smile, awe-ful pause, and enormous shot of energy HERE :) !!!

We had finished our home study (the visits, the first and final drafts, etc.) several weeks before, but the final step had been receiving approval from DCFS in Springfield, IL. We'd been told by our social worker that this step could take up to 3 weeks, but we were a bit on pins and needles to find out if we'd be approved. Apparently, the DCFS intercountry adoption coordinator can be very particular about the financial resources portion of the home study (as in, show me the money!). And while we do have a financial plan for our adoption, we knew going in that we would be doing some fundraising.

But once again, when we weren't expecting it, God has been so good. As I leafed through the following notarized copies of our home study, notarized copies of our home study agency license, and acceptance letter from DCFS, I couldn't help but be humbled. I have been so fatigued lately from recovering from a chest cold, living out of bags (see next post!), teaching, and almost losing Apollo that I haven't actively been working on adoption paperwork. But even despite that, God was still working on it.

I shared the joyful news with Paul and we celebrated by going out for dinner. I think we were both a bit surprised as well as extremely pleased. We both shared how this definitely makes the adoption seem more real to us now.

Now that we have this approved home study, we can proceed with the final stages of the adoption paperwork--notarizing the rest of our documents for the dossier, applying for our child's visa through USCIS, applying for grants to help defray the cost of the adoption. It kind of gives proof that we are serious in this endeavor. Even the DCFS letter concludes with: On the basis of the adoptive home study and recommendations, the adoptive placement of a minor born abroad is approved with the above couple, the adoption finalized in the country of the child's birth.

Wow. That may not seem like a lot, but to me that's pretty powerful language!! To me, it's more than just a positive nod from the state of IL or our home study agency. It's a gift, a confirmation, a thumbs-up from our Lord himself that he wants this to happen. More importantly, it's a reminder of his presence with us--I am with you. I love you. You are mine.

As I finished reading the contents of the packet, I felt a surge of joy and excitement (and honestly, a teeny jolt of trepidation!) in my heart. It's the feeling I can only liken to (not having experienced it myself, but imagining as) hearing your child's heartbeat for the first time on the fetal monitor in the hospital. You've understood mentally the mystery of life inside of you and how it got there, but up until then, you hadn't emotionally understood/experienced the awe, the power, the glorious act of God fully in creating life inside of you.

The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes. The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad. (Psalm 118:23-24)

Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. (Isaiah 43:5)